Get all 6 Sonic Pulse releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Vs. The Internet, Sonic Pulse Ruins Christmas, First Contact High (Single), Adventure Metal, Jerkoffagus, and Lager Than Life.
1. |
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When mankind had finally leapt into space,
We found ourselves threatened by an alien race,
Armed to attack us for our sense of adventure.
“Be excellent to each other” - “Party on!”
Concepts which offend them -
For this they’d hunt us ‘til the last. So let’s down another glass,
Pack a bowl, grab your weapon of choice,
It’s time to defend the good times!
We’ve got the speed,
We’ve got the fury,
A venomous cure for our invader’s ill reason.
We’ve got the guts,
We’ve got the glory,
To forever recapture the freedom to party!
To defeat our ancient astronaut oppressors,
We sought out their weaknesses.
The solution was alcohol: chemical warfare;
A preemptive liquor strike.
Unleashing the THC gas attack,
Forged from space weed,
Fired from the hyper-chronic bongzooka
Lack of tolerance was their undoing!
We’ve got the speed,
We’ve got the fury,
A venomous cure for our invader’s ill reason.
We’ve got the guts,
We’ve got the glory,
To forever recapture the freedom to party!
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2. |
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One question on humanity's mind,
Are we alone in this universe?
If other beings do exist,
How many miles would they traverse?
But then one evening,
A contact was recieved.
We had obtained a new message,
The likes of which you'd not believe!
-Nick solo-
A gorgeous race of alien,
They came from heights that seemed celestial,
I really must say it again,
Weren't your average extraterrestrials.
Another point in history,
Which shall define our fate.
They sought us out and found us here,
With intentions to mate.
With alien technologies,
To help us meet our goals.
We'd better find an offering,
So we can have the best of both worlds!
-Mick solo-
Entered in the running,
What were the odds you'd be selected?
For there would be no monument,
It's just their queen got you erected
Hand-picked by their alien queen,
Ambassador for the human race.
You were her type of human being,
To take our species into space.
There's one question that does remain,
What to do with your Earthly girl?
There's one solution in your brain,
The answer is to sleep with both girls,
Cause you could have the breast of both worlds!
-Mick solo-
-noodles-
-Mick solo-
-Nick solo-
Thankful for your services,
And grateful for your copulation,
You are the one who spilled your seed,
And saved their planet's population.
Emerging victoriously,
Two species by your side.
Fulfilling your manly duty,
In that space bed, where you now lie.
You were their prime male specimen,
Both races dug your new position.
To make sure this occurs again,
The queen's prevents your extradition.
-Nick solo-
So aren't you glad you slept with both girls?
Cause now you've had the breast of both worlds!
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3. |
Jerkoffagus(single mix)
08:19
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-Mick solo-
(Verse)
Beneath the sands of Egypt
Where the ancient pharaohs dwell
There lies the forbidden tomb
Cursed by an evil spell
Adventurers set foot inside,
As walls and floors collapse
They fell for the boobie traps.
(PreChorus)
Once you see it, you know what's happening
Trapped inside you can't stop fapping
Deepest secrets, dark desires
Burn your retinas just like fires
In your mind, fact comes from fiction
Burning at your flesh with friction
Waste away so blissfully
Welcome to your eternity
(Chorus)
It's a trip
Down into the Jerkoffagus
You'll see
Just what true pleasure's meant to be
A trip
Down into the Jerkoffagus
You'll see
Just what true pleasure's meant to be
-Guest Solo by Nick Timney-
(Verse)
The pride of ancient pharaohs
It was their secret treasure
Set inside the day they died
Rest in eternal pleasure
Adventurers who sought it out
They truly were ill-fated
They'd step inside and get CREAM-ated
(PreChorus)
Once you see it, you know what's happening
Trapped inside you can't stop fapping
Deepest secrets, dark desires
Burn your retinas just like fires
In your mind, fact comes from fiction
Burning at your flesh with friction
Waste away so blissfully
Welcome to your eternity
(Chorus)
It's a trip
Down into the Jerkoffagus
You'll see
Just what true pleasure's meant to be
A trip
Down into the Jerkoffagus
You'll see
Just what true pleasure's meant to be
-noodles-
(Bridge)
You should have watched your step
You fell through the fap door
You can say good by to the things you know,
You won't need them anymore
The coffin lid starts to close,
And you start to stare
But the images on the lid,
Don't seem fair over you
-Mick/Nick/Mick solo-
(Verse)
The time spent here will rub you raw,
Lust restrains your reason
Try to resist, from dusk till dawn
Beating yourself till seizing
Trapped within Jerkoffagus
A spirit never calmed
There you shall rest with your
Staff forever... ENPALMED
(PreChorus)
Once you see it, you know what's happening
Trapped inside you can't stop fapping
Deepest secrets, dark desires
Burn your retinas just like fires
In your mind, fact comes from fiction
Burning at your flesh with friction
Waste away so blissfully
Welcome to your eternity
(Chorus)
It's a trip
Down into the Jerkoffagus
You'll see
Just what true pleasure's meant to be
A trip
Down into the Jerkoffagus
You'll see
Just what true pleasure's meant to be
-Nick solo-
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Sonic Pulse Boston, Massachusetts
Sonic Pulse is the fastest, heaviest-hitting power-thrash metal band to come out of New England. Screaming party-oriented lyrics keep the mood as upbeat as the shredding tempos and ripping guitar solos - and with an energetic stage show to match, this band delivers an aural assault unparalleled by any would-be competitors on the scene. ... more
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